trapped

trapped in a room

full of tears

wish it would all

dissapear

how can i walk

run or sing

when i want to cry

everything

i have no space

no room for tears

voices and ears

hear every word

its crushing and rushing

up over and out

but silent and bitten

wish i could run

away to somewhere

warm and safe

that never appears

its like my floor

white for a minute

then dirty again

no effort no change

why bother trying

ripping and buying

into your sadness i fall

i dont want anything

now cept for you

i want to be held fast

to feel you on my neck

to be warm again

alive

or to crawl into a box

and stay until its done

but that just isnt it

walking around my sadness is

anger laughter and work

trying to reason

with you, myself and more

what about the children

how can i ignore them

run away and hide from

the tears that i must have

not sleeping not dreaming

not smoking or breathing

i ache tremble and sigh

WHY

this is so horrible

so sad and relentless

there is no away from

it here

the distance is yawning

i am impatient

going through the motions

but doing nothing at all

head heart and hands trapped

by the knowing that you

are gone from me.