where should i begin

at the moment i felt your skin

at the last day of our sin

in between it all we fell

to a place it knew so well

from a distance it cannot be seen

only always just a dream

if this road takes me away

what will memories hold my sway

castles clouded by old tears

fragile moments held in fear

this my story it has ended

on this love it was depended

and so it goes the book is closing

for now on its only posing

as a riddle in my head

the story loved and you i've said

lost now in pages never read

dont forget me when you go

only forever loved you so

dissapointed

I am so very sad that you
choose
to lose
and be lost
to let go is
harder
than thought
but still
I am
so very dissapointed
in you
however did you get there
from here
this is the end
but it never goes
where it should
hopelessly
for you
in anger
shake my head
disgusted
and walk away
again

this thing of our making

From the first moment

in the dark of night

i saw in you something beautiful

and it called to me

as it does still

asking for my heart

to join it

and you kissed me

so hard and so surely

my heart pounding

loudly and strong in my head

so that i could not wait to see

you again

and again

you took me gently into the night

hours and hours we spent

wrapped like the clouds

around the moon

never sleeping

making me shine

for you

and i ran so far

into the night roads

over mountains

for you

only pennies

in my pocket

taking me straight

into your arms

where you gathered

my tired heart

and swept it once

again

all of this

each day preceding now

each moment that has passed

all are inside waiting

like pages ruffled and worn

from fingers that browse

them

it is clear that here

and now is where

i will stand for

our love

our dreams

every moment that lives in memories

all the dreams for days to come

and for you

like joan to the flames

never wavering in my

truth

i hear you

as i lay on your bed waiting

next to you when you drive

watching everything and marveling at it all

because it never stops, gives up gives in...

it is all just yours and mine

as it has been

as it will be

beautiful as you

prendre mon amour

take my eyes so that i cannot see your beauty

take my ears so that i no longer listen for your voice

take my hands so they do not reach for you to touch them still

take my legs to keep from running as they always do to you

take my hair of which you like to gather in your fingers and wipe from my face

take my tears because they only serve as witness to my pain and sorrow

take it all it means nothing to me without you to look on them, to whisper in the ear, touch the hand, wrap the legs around you..to taste and see you in my dreams so close again

...my new years kiss, my birthday wish always there you are next to me,

birth and death we have shared compared secrets bared

our souls healed eachothers wounds and soon

invisible to the eye all will be taken without being given

this life ceasing to inspire require

breathing being seeing

anything at all

because it has no you within it

seulement juste toujours

vous êtes mon coeur

svp me pardonnez car je vous fais pour

toujours

and still

This sky above is the same for us it moves across from me to you always this way like waves...you are my heart, on my mind and taken hold of me for so long now, there is no other way.. i can never reach higher than when reaching for you, never look harder than into your eyes for the truth.. no book, no words, nothing else can tell or see the love that burns here beneath my skin out from the heart yours alone and all there is forever more is the telling tears the breathing soul that is mine only and always for you that kiss hands bound by time and space that cannot touch you now but have and will again my shiva rama god of this and that which carrys me along so many places faces you have shown me so many times your hands graced my skin this is true this is what is seen when looking finds me alone in the darkness waiting and watching listening for your footsteps on the floor, hand on the door to bury yourself once more this love is timeless endless meaningless without you

it is everything as you are to me

matthew of the minutes

every second second time all the while that you were mine running faster than i could ever imagine the time flew by by and the wind and the rain wiped away any trace, of your face from my poor memory... so i pasted up the shots that i had all ive got is these paper printed images that hold no love..here and again ive found the strength and the will to keep walking talking moving forward telling stories to my heart... keep it up your chin your smile..watch the tears fall down and down disappearing into floors and doors locked and left unopened....how we fought how we loved you took me to heaven over and over never letting me fall too far, your angel bright, ran to the light that our love gave off in the dark...that kiss so soft your hands so strong all along it was everything i wanted needed believed in...gone gone away until the end of time across the sea into the great nothing ever could have done this to me...just you

what would i do

what would i do

if i didnt have you to love

i would wither and wane

flower broken sad and lonely

what would i do

if we had never met

sit by the window and watch it go by

waiting endlessly for that which is only

found in you

what would i do

if you had never kissed me

my heart its capacity unknown

from the first touch...

lighting me on fire

the watching of you

melting me from the inside

the being of you with me

so slow and beautiful

will never forget this

every day i remember

and you are filling up my heart

my soul and my dreams

always

because what would i do

without you

you are my most beautiful

REM...
"At My Most Beautiful"

I've found a way to make you smile
I've found a way
A way to make you smile

I read bad poetry
Into your machine.
I save your messages
Just to hear your voice.
You always listen carefully
To awkward rhymes.
You always say your name,
Like I wouldn't know it's you,
At your most beautiful.

I've found a way to make you smile
I've found a way
A way to make you smile

At my most beautiful
I count your eyelashes, secretly.
With every one, whisper I love you.
I let you sleep.
I know you're closed eye watching me,
Listening.
I though I saw a smile.

Redemption

Every time I open my eyes, each morning to the cold , of empty arms and bed...a clutching of the chest and heart .. .so hollow inside without the completeness of you, the warmth I miss so deeply there is nothing that can fill or fix it..What have I done, walking away from you..never believing that it could go this far, and now alone I sit, waiting for a glimpse a touch a smile from you.. every day a long journey through until I can catch just a piece of yours...waiting for your arms to encompass me again, your mouth to taste my love, your eyes to devour me over and over... I would climb up a mountain, swim through the rivers of hell and back to have that chance once again ...one that i never gave up completely, but foolishly for a moment turned my back...didnt listen...but i hear you..i heard you ...and you called out to me, there is a spot in our souls that is only open for us.. and we are forever lost without eachother..so take my heart, my eyes my hands in yours and see the truth ..I am yours

tempest heart

This life
so long and winding
binding grinding away the days
my heart is so young and strong
damaged but not broken completely
In this space, this place I sit and
I wait
for someone
to consider me precious
valuable, beautiful and wild
like a vining rose
watch out for the thorns
the horns of the devil
on my back you love

my rambling thoughts and dreams
spilling out like water onto the land
soaking into you
is it refreshing
or drowning you tonight
you may be right
I may be crazy
but this tempest heart
is ever so lonely
and beats like a drum
in my brain

you turned my head and
kissed my neck
all that i said
was listened
and learned
and now not to take
is a fearful mistake
one step at a time

to calm this heart
and open these eyes
feel the wind in my hair
and stare

back
at
you

There is a space somewhere out there that lingers on the edge of time, open and willing me to touch it with both hands.. but you in your infinite patience and cruelty look upon something else and turn your face away from me, to it do this thing and it will break my heart forever again and again this thing this sin that you leave me bleeding seething and half of our whole is missing

you lie you steal precious moments from our history our future;this is not where I walked to with you this is only where you took yourself away, believe I did over and under the water of my broken faces and its impossible no more pictures no more it bears itself but the weight is too great...let love back and into my heart you reside not for her

not for her

not for her

not for you

please dont lie to me...

Hallelujah,,jeff buckley..so lovely and so sad..

Well I heard there was a secret chord
that David played and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
Well it goes like this:The fourth, the fifth, the minor fall
and the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah
Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah

Well your faith was strong
but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you to her kitchen chair
She broke your throne
and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew
the Hallelujah
Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah


Well Baby I've been here before
I've seen this room and i've walked this floor,
I used to live alone before I knew you
And I've seen your flag on the marble arch
But love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah


Well there was a time when you let me know
What's really going on below
But now you never show that to me do you
But remember when I moved in you
And the holy dove was moving too
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah
Hallelujah Hallelujah
Hallelujah Hallelujah


Maybe there is a God above
But all I've ever learned from love
Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you
And it's not a cry that you hear at night
It's not somebody who's seen the light
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah...Hallelujah

living

What is it to live?

If I walk beside you

and feel your presence

are we alive?

Can you be next to me

or inside of me

without life?

Sometimes I lay in the grass

and stare at the trees

the leaves

all alive and breathing like me

I get lost in the sky

the branches carry my thoughts

so high

Is it true then that

we are here for just an instant

at least according to God.

And if so, how will we

fill it up?

Every day I get up

and hope

to make choices

brave and clear

never to waiver and pull away

stand up for this life

of mine and yours

take it by the hand

never let it go.

Katrinas tears

Waves of water

air and fire

wash away their world

waves of sadness

fear and emptiness

gather like clouds

around

waves of anger

flooding the streets

waiting for release

waves of disbelief

as nothing and no one

appears

waves of tragedy

floating by sea

carried by land

and tears

waves of joy

as hands reach out

to gather the lost

little children laugh

dry your eyes

mother

all is here

inside your heart

where no waves

can wash away

and no storms can damage

and no denial of democracy

can be found

Turn your faces away from

the leaders

who've abandoned

all of us

and reach out

to the hands

of your neighbor

and friends

we are here

in waves of love

to hold and comfort

and sustain

because it could be

anyone......even me.

enduros

This time I will be here

whenever the mood strikes

in my loneliness and fear

abiding with silence

you strike me like a cold wind

in the face

shivering

so much warmth

that never touches skin

what is it I cannot find

left here again

behind my eyes

and then

here it sits upon my head

my shoulders

my heart

immobile

and gone

no one is listening

still

hello goodbye

my lonesome

Softness

Missing the softness of you

the golden glow you radiate

sweet and kind beautiful thing

where did you go

we all have a softness

somewhere inside

sometimes we hide it from view

here in my place

I grasp a new grace that changes

every day every way

Sunlight on the skin

lets it sink so deeply

wrapping around the heart

I am dreaming here

waiting again for something

and lost in thoughts and wind

Where did your softness go

Underneath you keep it

I want it so

come back

of mourning

do you mourn

the loss

what then

will you not look

at me the same

again

have i been misplaced

because of this space

in your head

taken up with sadness

or is it just in mine

why do I feel the looking

even when you dont want

whats found

Giant spoons dip into

my body

and take out all

leaving empty

and hollow

what I have known

ahh, sweet one time chances

forgotten and forgiven

but not unmourned

by anyone

feeling like the lighthouse in a storm

battered by the wind

yet still lit

to guide the ship home

my fuel is my love

and my light is only dimmed

by the low clouds surrounding

will it be found again

safe harbor, and mooring

or lost at sea

forever.

We

Were it not that I long to linger over your face

or feel your skin under my hands

I would not want for anything

what is it about you that

opens me

like a shell with such treasure inside

so that when I look on you

I tremble

my heart leaps and breaks

within your eyes

nothing has taught me this

It is just known

day and night come

not being asked

and here I sit

how do I hold myself

so as not to touch

feel or dream of you

there is not a place

that exists where

that is so

never do I think twice

about loving this way

it winds about me

and pulls you in

until there is no end

or beginning to what we are

it isnt even imaginable

that you and me

could not be we

phoenix

As the sun rises

so shall I

up again like the light

breaking on my skin

reaching for it

as the leaves in spring

taking it all in

ashes at my feet

remind me of this

paths I have taken

truth

and in this state

I am free

to gain my wings again

clouds hover

taking the light

hiding the everreaching

arms and eyes

fire in my heart

carries my upward

into the dream again

little boy

Oh little boy

hidden inside

dont cry

the darkness is gone

you aren't alone

not anymore

let me show you

how good

you really are

Open the door

into the light

take a deep breath

and smile

look at the sky

and know its all

right under your hands

to receive

Look in my eyes

and know you are home

there in the night

you're never alone

no more goodbyes

you're better than that

dont run and hide

any longer

Just take my hand

I'll show you the path

and together

we shall never

reside

in that darkness

that pain

the fury

and shame

oh little boy

just dont blame

yourself

step by step

day by day

you can win this war

inside your heart

dont be afraid

never give in

just know its all over

and then

you can walk in the rain

the sun and the stars

reflecting their color

and life

its all in your hands

the power of freedom

and knowing

believing

and truth

grab on to it now

dont ever let go

ride it wherever

it takes you

feel it on your skin

and within

be brave little one

surrender